Recently, I was surprised to learn that I was one of two recipients of the inaugural Lifetime Achievement Award that the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts® (IDFA) awarded at their 2023 annual conference held in Dallas this past September. The award honors distinguished Certified Divorce Financial Analysts® (CDFA®) across the country who have demonstrated outstanding leadership and have made significant contributions to the industry. The IDFA is the premier national organization dedicated to the certification, education and promotion of the CDFA professional.

I am deeply honored and humbled to have received this award for my work as a CDFA. I began doing this work in 2012 and although that is not a lifetime, it did take me a lifetime to get here. Receiving this award marked a major accomplishment for me. Prior to 2012, I was a stay-at-home mom (18 years) who, after my own divorce in 2008, worked to reinvent myself and a rewarding career.

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There’s a saying, ‘a man is not a financial plan’ and to that I end, I decided that I would learn how to manage and invest the money I received in my divorce settlement so that I would not have to depend on a man in the future. 

I started watching Mad Money with Jim Cramer on CNBC and reading Suze Orman’s books, most notably, ‘Women and Money: Owning the Power to Control Your Destiny’. One of Suze’s taglines is you have to ‘face it to erase it’. I took that tagline to heart and decided I would not let my divorce define me. I had an opportunity to create a new life by using my divorce as a positive experience that would drive me to help other people going through the divorce process. I decided I would make lemonade out of lemons and became a CDFA.

After becoming a CDFA in 2012, I took a 40-hour mediation training, became a collaboratively-trained Financial Neutral in the Collaborative Law Process, took the Series 65 and became a Registered Investment Advisor..

I went on to become the President of The Divorce Center—a non-profit located in MA, for four years, and concurrently served as Chair for the IDFA’s Board of Advisors and most recently, became a Certified QDRO Specialist (CQS™) through the American Association of Certified QDRO Professionals. I was very proud that I had turned a horrible period of my life into something great.

In 2013, I started my own business, Solutions For Divorce LLC. To say I had no idea what I was doing is an understatement. I felt I had nothing to lose so, I pushed full speed ahead.  

Since I was starting over in midlife, I always felt a little less than because I could not say that I “have been doing this for twenty years” like most professionals like to tell you. Yes, I went to college and worked for a few years after college, but after getting pregnant with my first child in 1991, my former husband and I decided I would stay home to raise our family.  

Because of that, I lost out on the opportunity for career growth and the ability to earn a decent income. This is a story that plays out over and over again for a lot of women who then go through a divorce later in life. I wanted to be the example that there is opportunity for growth after divorce.

This is why I became a CDFA and why I obtained all the additional education and experiences. I know what it is like to go through a divorce when your husband has all the income and hence, all the control. I knew that I could help women and men by empowering them with the financial information they needed to stand up to a controlling spouse and have the power to ask for what they needed in order to transition to a successful life after divorce. Knowledge is power. 

The type of power I always refer to is personal power, not the kind of power that creates a contentious environment by using that power as a weapon, but the type that puts one back in control of their own life.  

I am passionate that my clients have all the knowledge and information they need in order to make informed decisions. This means understanding what assets they have and how those assets might be divided in a divorce, as well as knowing what the incomes are for both parties so we can address issues of support. Believe it or not, most people do not know what they have for retirement, what their spouse makes or even how much it costs to run their households.

When people have all the necessary information, they are better able to negotiate for a settlement that addresses their needs, concerns and goals.

The Lifetime Achievement Award represents the very best of CDFA Professionals. This means a lot to me because it is the first time that I have been acknowledged for all the hard work I do. I turned sixty this year so my message to women going through a divorce, is that it is never too late to reinvent yourself and do something that brings meaning and happiness to your life.  

Divorce is not the end of your life. It is the beginning of a new life, new opportunities and a renewed chance to be happy and self-supporting. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. Don’t play the victim as that will only make you miserable. Only you can turn things around and I’m here to tell you that if I can do it, YOU can do it.